Being a Better Parent: 3 Things You Need to Quit Doing
As parents, we got a million of information always ready right at our fingertips. And some of those millions are parenting tips and advice that every single day, stack up and before we know it, we have a ton of 'new parenting tips' added to everything everyone around us gave us.
Quit telling
“Kids learn by many means, but the two strongest are by taking action and having role models in their lives.” ― Alexandra Eidens.
You ate at a food court once, and a toddler was rowdy, maybe the chicken was too delicious for him. And a mother would say, 'Stop it.'.
It's not that bad, but you get the picture. We've seen this, and as a child or parent we've experienced this in one way or another. And oftentimes, when a child is told something, subconsciously, they ask 'Why?'.
And that is valid. As a child, they don't have the repeats and runs of life that we have. That means everything's new and fresh and sometimes, doesn't make much sense.
So quit telling. Start showing them what to do.
Quit letting them choose their environment
“Be careful of the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them.” — W. Clement Stone.
Look, kids can choose whatever activity they want, but it's the parent's job to choose where and when his or her child will do it. And most importantly, who is with him or her.
How many times have we heard of a group of rowdy kids turning a good boy into one of them? There are literally tons of movies and stories about it.
So, however old-time you think it is, you need to pick your child's friends. It is never about not trusting your kid, but not trusting the world around him.
Quit future-proofing
“The problem is that in our great desire to see our children do well, we interact with them through the lens of fear that they might fail — a fear that our children absorb.” ― Dr. Shefali Tsabary.
Search on the internet. There are a lot of articles and videos that are talking about your child's future.
And you're watching it. And your kid is 1 month old.
Look, this doesn't say you should think about your kid's future. But don't put all your time in there. Focusing too much on the future will eventually lead to negligence of the present.
Which leads to my next point:
Bonus: quit shallow attention
“Children don’t need to have their feelings agreed with; they need to have them acknowledged.” ― Adele Faber.
Single people seem to always be overwhelmed with their day… and parents tell — “watch out when you get kids!”.
Parenting demands us to be a distracted multitasker. And sadly, sometimes the kids become just a task, not the reason why we work.
Every child needs deep attention from their parents. For parents, it’s just a matter of choice. It’s either you shut other things in silence, or you multitask, compromising your child.
So choose. But remember to always put the kids first, because they are the reason why we're working, not just another task on our day.
I know, these things are not the easiest things to do. But the sooner we get into quitting these and being on top of our parenting, the sooner we can be a better parent than we were yesterday.
